Future Shock is Here

When I was a girl, Alvin Toffler wrote FUTURE SHOCK, which made me aware of the disconnect that can occur when you get too much change in too short an amount of time. I watched my parents struggle with new innovations, first VHS and later DVDs. My father died before the ‘ i ‘s and ‘ e ‘s arrived, never seeing a personal computer, listening to an iPad, or reading an eBook. My mother was battling her way through until it all got to be too much. Now when something doesn’t work or needs reprogramming, she phones one of her children or grandchildren. Soon she’ll have to rely on the younger ones and my siblings, as the new technology is quickly passing me by.

I have never used a smart phone, instead sticking with my old dumb one because I know how to make it work and I don’t want to be less intelligent than my phone. I don’t understand the difference between an iPad and a mini-laptop with a disconnecting keyboard. I can’t Twitter, I can barely Facebook, and I don’t know if I have any Pinterest. Like my mother before me, I’ll be relying on my granddaughter to get me through each new step into the future until it all becomes too much for me and I settle for whether the ‘darn thing’ turns on or not.

So it is with some understanding, if not sympathy, that I will watch those people of Minnesota who worked so long and hard to keep marriage only between heterosexuals, struggle with their new way of life. Their churches are surely up in arms, the self-closeted among them sending up the loudest lamentations. Public businesses will have to treat their customers without discrimination, a right they’ve never had, yet hold most dear. The fun is over, and there will now be consequences for their hateful acts.

Because I don’t for one minute believe that they’ll stop exhibiting the ugly, discriminating, belittling bullying that defines their interaction with LGBTers. They’ve been doing it for far too long to give it up over night. A deep resentment will grow with each new arrest and lawsuit, and fester with each conviction and reparation payment.

Backlash will occur, as sure as spring follows winter. New Yorkers are living through the proof of my statement as this is published. This last week there were a string of attacks and a cold blooded murder, all obvious hate crimes aimed at LGBT people. Blood is being spilled in the war for equality; freedom from fear will be hard won.

In response to the recent legalization of same-sex marriage do I think there will be hate crimes committed against gays here in Minnesota, where Nice is the state’s middle name? Maybe. We’ll have to keep our eyes and ears open, protect each other as we always have, and be vigilant against hatred. This seems to be the classic ‘two steps forward, one step back’ pattern during social change, and I doubt Minnesotans will be much different.

Although I hope with all my heart that I’m wrong about that. If there’s any state in the union where it’s possible that spring won’t follow winter, it’s Minnesota.

Jumping The Gun… I Mean Broom

Tomorrow, Monday May 12, 2013 will be a day that will be celebrated – if all goes as planned.

The Minnesota state senate will either vote to legalize same-sex marriage, or they will not, leaving the old ‘one man and one woman’ amendment alone. I, and many other Minnesotans expect our senators to keep their word and vote on the right side of history. Governor Mark Dayton has also promised he would sign any such legislation, clearing the way for legal weddings to start August 1st.

Well, plenty of Minnesota’s gay population have started already planning for weddings, and details are being discussed. If I had a wedding oriented business locally I’d be figuring out ways to expand marketing to LGBT folk. (hint hint)

On the subject of wedding cakes, clearly some changes will have to be made, but to what extent is the decision of the pastry chef. I’ll show you what I mean.


If The Law Says I Must bakeries will provide very little difference from the straight folks’ wedding cakes they’ve been making for years. Very traditional except for the cardboard or tacky plastic figures used as toppers.

Friends Of and Friendly bakeries will offer the colors of the rainbow in an homage to the LGBT  symbol. 

Making beautiful cakes for the most special of occasions. The celebration of 
two lives joining as one family.

Very pretty work, and so sweet, tangy and generic too. The braver among them will experiment with flavors and added details.


Enthusiastic And Very Supportive bakeries will get into the swing of things and use their skills to create works of art that are also symbolic. A delight for the eyes and the mouth.

Right There With You bakeries will go that extra mile to make sure you’ve got just the right cake topper. I love that pants are optional for lesbian toppers.


And the Totally Get It and Wishing You The Very Best bakeries will design cakes specifically for you and your spouse to be. Reminders of your special times or experiences.


So for those who are dreaming of their special day a few words of advice:

START PLANNING NOW!

The magic of Christmas discovered in May

There’s a euphoria burbling in my chest, simmering in the time it’s necessary to wait. I find my knee jiggling under the desk, a symptom of an excitement that simply cannot be contained. It leaks out from me in the odd heart skipping a beat, or a sudden catching of breath at the merest passage of thought. 

Something is caught in my throat. It’s the balloon of anticipation which has grown around my heart. It’s full, threatening to splatter excitement at any moment, but hoping to burst when my dearest wish comes true. My state’s legislature is deciding the issue of same sex marriage today. TODAY could/will be the day of jubilation.

It’s THAT DAY I’ve waited for, longed for, ached for, dreamed of, and thought too many times would never get here. It’s the day, quite honestly, which will determine much of my future. And it’s finally, finally here.

And I feel just like a kid on Christmas Eve, waiting to find the miracle in the morning. The miracle that I thought would come, but was never quite sure of because there is that whole naughty/nice clause and I’d worry about a few things. And yet, and Yet, and YET – I believed in the wonder with all my heart and soul, safe in the innocence of inexperienced youth.

It’s happened to other people, even people I know. The internet tells stories of places where this particular miracle has happened and the people are joyful. I drift off into visions of happy people gathering to celebrate lives and loves, sanctifying and legalizing their families at last, and then I notice that my knee is jiggling under the desk.


It’s THE DAY. Now. Here. In my reality, at last.